I feel I am a pretty open person. I am comfortable in talking about things that bother me with my close friends and family, however one thing which I like to avoid is the subject of my weight. Apart from the occasional personal complaint that I am ‘fat’, I like to sweep the weight-issue under the rug, and if anyone else were to bring it up then I get very uncomfortable and often offended. I know I am by no means ‘fat’ in the clinical sense. However I am ‘fat’ in my mind, which translates to me that I weigh more than I wish to.
I know it is a touchy subject to a lot of people; it is a touchy subject in general. Nevertheless I am not going to sugarcoat my opinions on this matter (and they are just that, my opinion and you are free to have a different opinion from me). One thing I do believe is that if one is happy with their weight and is comfortable in their body, then there is nothing wrong with being whatever size they are. Like they say: you do you. I am writing from the perspective of a person whose aspiration is to have the body that most magazines portray, or what is shown in the media as the ‘ideal body’.
Unlike many articles on weight, I am not going to blame the media for portraying an unrealistic body-image as I believe it is achievable if one has the determination to achieve it (not the photoshop images of course). Celebrities are just people with normal bodies too. We all know how to lose weight and be in shape, there is no secret: move and eat right. I consider my aspiration to be ‘unrealistically’ thin as self-care, it is a self-indulgence and pampering that I do for me. I enjoy watching what I eat and knowing how much I weigh. I feel more confident in myself and enjoy being able to buy clothes online and knowing it will fit. The issue is, I feel in today’s society this attitude is frown upon because it is considered an ‘unachievable’ goal and is shaming other body types. Still, I am not ashamed of it, and why should I be if we all preach that that one’s ideal body is the one we’re happy in? If I am not entirely happy with my current body right now, then I have the right to change it.
What the media tells us is a contradiction anyway. There are tumblr. posts that tell us to embrace ourselves (never change) and magazine articles with the latest fad diet and elsewhere on Instagram, an ad for detox-tea. And not to mention pop-songs and celebrities attacking each other because one weighs more/less. The media may be telling us what to wear and how to look but you do not have to follow it. The point is, how you look and want to look is always your choice. Consider my weight a form of self-expression, like dressing a certain way or how I style my hair. Some may say that the fact that I aspire to be thin is influenced by the media and it may be so but I am saying it is my choice and I embrace it; I am content with not being content with my body right now.
Fat is a feeling because at the end of the day, it is just a word. When I say: ‘I feel fat’ I am not saying anyone else who weighs more than me is fat. Just like one may call an attractive person hot/cute/fit, the word one uses to describe their subjectivity is subjective and personal to that person. Perhaps I should be more careful with my words, but ‘fat’ to me is just a word I use to express dissatisfaction in my own appearance and it is my own feeling.
[Please do not confuse and mix this with eating disorders, which I am by no means disregarding. There is a certain point that controlling what you eat gets out of hand and one should seek help. This post is just on the scrutinization of people wanting to look a certain way and other people disapproving of it.]